authenticity

Finding The Flow in Slow: 8 Lessons Learned from Slowing Down in My Business

Today marks the end of my “summer sabbatical” -- a five-week period in which I took a break from my regularly scheduled weekly newsletter, a Monday missive I’ve been sending for almost 120 weeks straight.

The decision to take this time off started back in the beginning of May when I began really exploring the idea of why we continue to thirst for MORE everything as humans and entrepreneurs. These questions ignited in me a desire to focus less on how to grow bigger as a business and more on how to grow TRUER as a business.

  • What did I REALLY want Made Vibrant to be about?
  • What parts of my business do I love and what parts do I want to eliminate?
  • What am I doing for love and what am I doing for money?
  • What do I define as ‘enough’ (enough money, enough subscribers, enough success?)

Pondering all of this led to the realization that since the inception of my business in 2014, I’d never actually taken a real break. 

I have worked most weekends and on most vacations, and even the occasional few days away never felt like a true separation. Part of this, yes, was because I truly LOVE my work. But once I got honest with myself, I realized it was also because I was afraid of losing momentum.

Every time I had an idea for a product or project, I usually slapped on some unfathomable self-imposed deadline, worried that any kind of delay might result in missed opportunities.

Once I realized this, it became clear that I not only needed a break to confront this fear, but I also needed to challenge myself to take a much SLOWER approach to building and releasing projects long-term.

My solution was the five-week break from my newsletter, but it also included intentionally pushing back a website re-launch by a whopping two months (more on that later.)

I'm now happy to report that over the past two and a half months, I’ve discovered more presence, more fullness, and more VIBRANCE than any other time in my life.

What I’ve discovered is that in taking a slower (almost painfully slower) approach, it has given me the breathing room to let my authentic creativity rise to the surface. I feel more in control of my decisions and true feelings than ever before.

Now that I'm re-emerging from my hiatus and kicking the newsletter back up again, I wanted to share with you guys eight lessons I’ve learned these past five weeks away, and why I think there is a tremendous benefit to baking WAY more down-time into your business (and life).
 

1. Time & space are like oxygen for inspiration.

Have you ever tried to write something under deadline and found yourself staring at a blank page feeling literally incapable of forming sentences much less communicating something of worth?

On the other hand, with the pressure off and singing Taylor Swift in the shower, have you ever been surprised to find thoughts flying through your head at warp speed and thought to yourself,“Wait! I need to write this down!”

So why the heck is that?!

Well, when we feel under pressure to make something happen in a specific timeframe, many times we can end up smothering our inner muse.

Our hearts need space to wander freely and our minds need time to form meaningful connections that spark creativity.

During my hiatus, I found that the more time I spent away from my work (resting, walking, getting sunshine, etc.), the more I was able to let my ideas simmer and stew together to form beautiful new flavors.

MY TAKEAWAY: DON’T SUFFOCATE YOUR CREATIVITY BY ALWAYS TRYING TO PUT IT UNDER DEADLINE. TIME AND SPACE ARE LIKE OXYGEN TO INSPIRATION.

“Time and space are like oxygen to inspiration.”

2. Play is essential.

Speaking of more time and space, once I finally gave myself more of both, I realized I also had the ability to take on things that weren’t on my to-do list.

I had time to experiment in my art journal, mess around with new design treatments in Photoshop and make up stupid songs in my head (don't worry, not dropping an album any time soon slash EVER).

In other words, I let myself PLAY.

When you’re under a strict pace, it can feel like there’s never any time for nonsense or experimentation or frivolous creativity. And yet nonsense is what can actually lead to a freer spirit and surprising new discoveries.

I learned for myself what Greg McKeown says in his book Essentialism:

“When we play, we are engaged in the purest expression of our humanity, the truest expression of our individuality.” -- Greg McKeown

During this break I discovered that play is, in fact, essential.

Play brought my life more laughter (and less anxiety), more surprising ideas, new branding and website design treatments, and new art processes -- all because I allowed myself to create for the joy of creating.  

MY TAKEAWAY: PLAY IS ESSENTIAL TO CREATIVITY AND SLOWING THINGS DOWN MAKES ROOM FOR PLAY!

3. The greatest form of renewable fuel is authenticity.

I’ll admit that part of my fatigue at the beginning of May was the feeling that I was always just trying to keep up with the Jones’s in the entrepreneurial sense. Here's how my thoughts would go:

  • "So-and-so launched a podcast /  Should I launch a podcast?"
  • "Higher priced courses are making this person six figures / Should I be doing that?"
  • "Here's a thingy about funnels / Should I go back through and optimize all my blog posts for conversion?"

Ew, right?!

Despite being aware that it’s never a good sign when “shoulds” pop up in my head, I still found myself sinking into the slippery quicksand of comparison. And it left me feeling constantly exhausted.

This break has taught me, though, that defining my own pace also helps me solidify my own voice.

Removed from the constant stream of consumption and trying to keep up with everyone around me, instead I can focus on moving forward based on what I feel most connected to, what feels most authentic TO ME. And the result is that instead of feeling exhausted, I feel completely energized like I’m finally hitting a stride that is 100% dictated by ME.

In Connecting With Your Core, I talk about the fact that when you are truly aligned with your core self, you discover a form of renewable energy -- like a turbine that is always refueling -- rather than a tank that can often feel empty and depleted. Slowing down reminded me of this fact as I was able to feel it first-hand.

MY TAKEAWAY: WHEN YOU STEP AWAY FROM THE NOISE, YOU FEEL ENERGIZED BY YOUR OWN AUTHENTIC VOICE.

“When you step away from the noise, you feel energized by your own authentic voice.”

4. Clarity can’t be rushed.

Originally, when I had my mini-epiphany in early May, I had planned a website redesign for early June to reflect an idea for where I thought I wanted to steer Made Vibrant moving into later this year and next.

But, at the wise suggestion of my partner Jason (who is currently taking his own break this summer away from social media), I pushed the launch back, first to August and now to September (😱), which seemed like a CRAZY amount of time to wait. So much time that I might have had a panic attack before this summer. 

But now? Now I’m SO glad I gave myself the extra time because what the site and vision has evolved into over the course of MANY weeks feels much closer to what I really want.

If I had rushed things, I might not have arrived at the clarity I needed to make it truly aligned with my goals and values moving forward long-term.

MY TAKEAWAY: WE ARRIVE AT CLARITY WHEN WE HAVE TIME TO FULLY EXPLORE OUR VALUES AND DECISION-MAKING.

“We arrive at clarity when we have time to fully explore our values & decision-making.”

5. Challenge the belief that it will all fall apart.

As I talked about in this post, I had this deep belief that if I took a break with my business things would start to fall apart.

I'm such a big believer in consistency, and a part of me was convinced that if I wasn't putting out consistent newsletters, people would forget about me and forget about Made Vibrant. (Okay, typing it now it sounds really silly.) 

I knew it was important for me to actually challenge this belief and prove to myself that it was just a story I was making up.

What I discovered is that if you're putting out work that you believe in -- work that truly resonates with people -- that kind of emotional connection can’t be broken overnight. In fact, if you've attracted the right people in your business (people whose values align with yours), they’ll often respect you more for taking time away.

Did I lose some email subscribers while I was away? Sure. Did some jump ship to discover a new favorite blog? Probably.

But, YOU are here and that’s who I care about. And everything clearly did not fall apart. In fact, I think the slow-down was crucial from a business perspective so I could see that even when I was taking a more laid-back approach, the business was still making a consistent base revenue each month.

This ACTUAL real-life experience (vs. the old story I made up in my head) will definitely help alleviate any lingering financial anxiety that I have to keep things at a faster pace.

MY TAKEAWAY: IT’S ONE THING TO WONDER IF YOU’VE BUILT A BUSINESS THAT CAN LAST; IT’S ANOTHER THING TO SEE IT FOR YOURSELF.

“It’s one thing to wonder if you’ve built a business that can last; it’s another thing to see it for yourself.”

6. Distance allows you to see the big picture.

When you’re moving at the speed of light, not only can everything start to look a bit blurry, but everything feels like it’s being held up right to your face. When you’re entrenched in trying to burn through your to-do list as fast as possible, it’s hard to find the time to ponder what all you’re trying to accomplish.

The more days and weeks went by, the more elevated I began to feel -- like I was staring at my business from 20,000 feet. That distance allowed me to see the big picture in a whole new way, and now I feel much more aware of how every single tactic and to-do fits into my higher purpose.

MY TAKEAWAY: IT’S HARD TO SEE THE BIG PICTURE WHEN IT’S RIGHT UNDER YOUR NOSE.

“It’s hard to see the big picture when it’s right under your nose.”

7. We have to untangle our work from our worth.

This is probably one of the most profound benefits I’ll walk away with from this break. I think most entrepreneurs to some degree feel that they are a direct reflection of their business. Business success = personal success.

But, this is a very dangerous belief because if that is the case, the second that a product flops or a sales dip occurs, we can start to feel negative emotional effects from those “failures.”

Honestly I think that’s what the whole work/life pendulum is really about -- reminding ourselves that while work can fill our lives with meaning and purpose, the worth of our lives is an unconditional precept.

Meditating on this new view and actually LIVING it these past few weeks has helped me evolve to a place where I no longer hyperventilate at the idea of not opening my email on the weekend. I want to arrive at a place where soaking up the sunshine feels just as urgent as my inbox because the truth is: LIFE is what's urgent. Work? Less so. 

MY TAKEAWAY: YOUR WORTH IS NOT DEPENDENT ON THE PERFORMANCE OF YOUR WORK.

“Your worth is not dependent on the performance of your work.”

8. When we slow down we can feel the flow.

Ah yes, “flow.” That beautiful state of being when the world melts away and we lose all sense of obligation or worry or doing and instead lean into a joyful and immersive experience of being. Can you remember the last time you felt this way?

For me, it was yesterday. And a few days before that. And all summer long. Why? Because I allowed myself to slow down long enough to settle into it. When we stop trying to run so fast toward a moving target, that’s when we’re actually able to feel and use the energy within us and around us.

MY TAKEAWAY: TO RECEIVE THE SLOW FLOW OF BEING, WE HAVE TO LET GO OF THE RAPID PACE OF DOING.

“To receive the slow flow of BEING, we have to let go of the rapid pace of DOING.”

Now, I'm not saying that any of this was easy at first. The first week when I didn't hit send on a Monday morning email, I was anxious all day. Seeing no new blog posts pop up in my blog feed this summer made me feel strange, like something was missing. But I had to wade through the discomfort in order to remind myself that a sustainable pace and a LASTING work/life integration is what I'm after.

I know at different times and for different people, there are always going to be seasons of rest and seasons of productivity. Honestly, I don’t know if I would have been in a place to accept all the benefits of a slower pace when my business was still new because those were the days when resources were scarce and hustle-mode felt appropriate.

Still, now I know that hustle-mode is a state of being that I’m ready to let go of. I want to fold this slower, more deliberate pace into my life and my business, and redefine what “work” could feel like for me.

I can’t promise that I won’t get all fired up in the future and enter a more turbo-charged season of making, but for now I feel I’ve discovered the incredible power in taking a break and finding a more sustainable pace.

I know now that presence is more important to me than productivity, and that is why I’ll continue to work toward this practice of intentional slow-flowtion 😜 in my business.

Thanks to all of you that stuck around while I was away and I can't WAIT to share with you what's coming in the months ahead. 

 
 
 
 
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Using Self-Awareness To Adjust Your Aspirations

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Using Self-Awareness To Adjust Your Aspirations

Examine WHY you want those things and what trade-offs might come along with that. Ask yourself what you can learn about yourself from the things and people you aspire, to not necessarily how you can attain them. The best life is not the one we have to chase down or attain; it’s the one we create for ourselves intentionally, day after day after day.

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Tapping Your Past To Find Clues To Your Future

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Jason and I are officially leaving our year-long home here in Poway this week to head up the coast to our new condo in Oceanside. We get the keys on Wednesday and we’ll be all moved in by Friday. Eep! 

I’ll definitely miss a lot of things about our setup here but I’ve always been the type to be energized by a new adventure and a new environment to adapt to, so I’m beyond excited! The anticipation has been killing me!

This week though, as much as I’m excited for all that’s ahead of me, I actually want to focus a bit on the opposite. I want to talk a little about the past. Namely, YOUR past.

To kick things off, I’m going to ask you to step back in time a little (or a lot, depending on how old you are !) I want you to try and think back to when you were a kid. Try to put yourself back in those (tinier) shoes.

Now ask yourself: How did you spend the majority of your time? What were your hobbies? When you weren’t playing with your friends or doing your homework, what did you gravitate towards that made you lose track of time?

Last week I shared with you my DIY approach to picking a path in life. Some of you hopefully found that method helpful, but I know there were others of you that may have thought to yourself: But what if I don’t yet have a vision for my future? What if I don’t KNOW what I want my DIY path to be?

That’s who I want to talk to specifically today, to those of you who still feel lost when it comes to finding that meaningful, whole-hearted work we all want to be filling our days with.

And my advice begins with a story…

Two weeks ago when I was on my hands and knees on the floor of my art studio hand-painting 100 envelopes for the Art Shop, I had this weird flashback to when I was a kid.

It was 5th grade and I told my mom I wanted something special to give my “best friends” on our last day of school since some of them wouldn’t be attending the same middle school as me.

At my insistence, she brought me to Michael’s where I picked out tiny wooden “jewelry boxes” in the shape of treasure chests, as well as a different color of craft paint to match the personality of each of my six best friends. Then, with newspaper sprawled out on the floor of our concrete carport, I hand-painted each personalized box and wrote a different custom word on the top of each jewelry box in metallic paint pen.

Something about being on the floor, completely obvious to the time passing, joyfully creating something that I knew would be personal and meaningful to the recipient... it transported me straight back to my 5th grade self.

The thought of this memory with its highly specific combination of art, hand-lettering, and meaningful messaging almost gives me chills with how closely it resembles exactly what I now call my everyday work. And I was doing it naturally at 10 years old!

The more I thought about what I loved doing as a kid, the more of these memories started to bubble up. More personalized arts and crafts projects, more newspaper sprawled out, more hours of creating. I can almost feel the mix of cold, shaded concrete still underneath me and the warm Saturday afternoon air creeping in from the driveway. Creating was so clearly what I always wanted to do.

And yet it almost didn’t happen.

I almost went a completely different path in my life — listening to what teachers and other adults were telling me, that my high performance in school is what made me special. That I was no doubt going to be “successful.” That I would “make a great doctor or lawyer someday.” Even from that young age, the message was clear: art is just a hobby, not something to aspire to.

Thank goodness that inner kid inside me spoke up when I felt myself headed down a road that wasn’t resonating in my heart early on in my advertising career. Thank goodness she said, “Wait, who cares about being “successful!” Do what brings you joy!”

My point is this:

Our childhood selves in many ways represent our purest selves.

In my TEDx talk, I spoke about this theory I have in my head that I like to picture sometimes. That we all arrive in this world with our own unique “color” — a completely one-of-a-kind hue that encompasses the truest mix of our human potential. Our gifts, our talents, our personalities, our spirits.

As we grow older, the expectations of the world can often dim that technicolor potential with things like fear and stress and quest for recognition. But it’s our job to find our way back to that original state — our brightest, most vibrant state.

And I think one way to do that is to dig into who we were when we were younger.

As Danielle LaPorte once said:

“Can you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be?”

I know we didn’t all have happy childhoods, and I’m certainly not suggesting that we all need to revisit those years if they drudge up bad feelings.

BUT, I am suggesting that our early years can carry CLUES as to who and what we wanted to be before the expectations of the world came tumbling into the mix.

So my challenge to you this week is to answer those questions I started with:

How did you spend your time as a kid? What were your hobbies? When you weren’t playing with your friends or doing your homework, what did you gravitate towards that made you lose track of time? What did you want to be?

And more importantly, WHY did you want to be that?

I’m not necessarily recommending that if you wanted to be an astronaut that you should quit your job now and enroll in space camp (though if that really is you’re dream, I’m all for it!)

All I’m saying is that perhaps the memory of that childhood dream can remind you of your curiosity for the unknown or for understanding the universe or for connecting to something bigger than yourself. And, as my favorite Elizabeth Gilbert teaches us, you don’t have to follow your passion, you just have to follow your curiosity.

Sometimes, when you don’t know how to move forward, a moment spent looking backward can give you the clues you need to take the next step.

Wishing all of you a happy and productive week, and be on the lookout for Instagram photos of the new digs.

I’ve got my own dedicated studio in the new place whose floor is just begging to be used to paint envelopes!

 
 
 
 
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Confidence And Learning To Trust Yourself

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Happy Monday from the road, dear friends!

Over the course of the past week, Jason and I have played on the sand dunes in California; stopped in Sedona at our favorite inn, El Portal; traveled to Taos, New Mexico where we stayed for two days in something called an Earthship; cozied up to Waco, Texas to stay in one cool #FixerUpper; and passed through Lafayette, LA where I now find myself on the road somewhere near New Orleans. Phew, I’m exhausted just typing that! 

The adventure has included many, many miles of podcast episodes, road trip beef jerky, my poor attempt at navigation, and, thankfully, a few surprisingly weak moments on Jason’s part when he agreed to let me listen to Christmas music (GASP! - Pentatonix Deluxe Christmas album anyone? Big fan right here.) 

As I type this now we are heading to our last stop — Seaside, FL — before arriving in Jacksonville on Wednesday just in time for Thanksgiving. Woohoo! 

Road trips are my very favorite for SO many reasons, but this trip actually has very little to do with what I want to talk about this week. 

This week I want to talk about something interesting that popped up following last week’s letter on “actionizing.” Some of you might remember that at the bottom of the newsletter I asked you to email me with anything that you might need right now -- something I could help with as a small act of sending love out into the world.  

Well, about 40 of you wrote in (thank you for that, by the way!) and I did my best to make time to write back to each one in between road trip activities. What astounded me about your replies though was the fact that the majority of you said that you needed more of the very SAME two things: confidence and motivation. 

Over and over the responses came in with those two words calling out to me. So, I’m taking the hint here and this week I want to tackle one of those (one that I especially struggled with in my first year of business), and that’s confidence. 

The problem with this, though, is that confidence is not a simple problem with a simple solution. 

How does one encourage another to have confidence? How can I give someone something that so clearly has to come from within? 

But that’s when I thought to myself: I may not be able to GIVE someone confidence, but maybe I can help someone see their own confidence in a new light. Maybe I can uncover a new way of looking at confidence, a new angle that might allow some of you out there to finally have that light bulb moment that could make all the difference. 

So I asked myself: What exactly is confidence? Where does it come from? How do we relate to it? 

I thought about all the times I have to call upon my confidence: 

  • When I stand on a stage and deliver a speech. 
  • When I speak up and share my opinion at a dinner party. 
  • Every time I share a piece of my art on social media or hit send on an email to you guys. 
  • When I walk into a room full of strangers and have to introduce myself. 

Each one of these moments requires confidence. And when I broke each of these situations down further, I realized that in each of those moments, the thing that allows me to walk confidently or speak confidently or share confidently is that I have built up trust with myself.

“Confidence is really about being able to TRUST yourself.”
  • Do I trust that I’ll be able to deliver the speech without blanking? 
  • Do I trust that my opinions are well thought-out and sincere when I speak up? 
  • Do I trust that I believe in my artistic talents enough that even if no one likes my photo or shares my email, I won’t stop creating?
  • Do I trust that even if I introduce myself to a stranger and they have no interest in what I do or say that it won’t affect my self-image? 

The trust you have with yourself is what your confidence rests on. 

And so that’s when I started wondering, well if confidence rests on trust, how do we build trust with ourselves? Because if we can understand how to build trust, then maybe we can better understand how to boost our confidence too. 

Thankfully I remembered this fascinating talk by Brené Brown called "The Anatomy of Trust" that I might have shared with you guys a few weeks back. 

In it, Brené talks about the fact that the research shows that “trust is built in very small moments” — these tiny opportunities in which people choose to show us they’re worthy of our trust. 

She compares trust to a marble jar, where others can do small things to demonstrate they’re trust-worthy and each time they do we add a mental marble to their jar. Only when the marble jar is full do we feel we can trust someone. 

In other words, trust is earned.

People have to show us that they’re deserving of our trust because that’s how we feel safe and protected from betrayal.

Brené goes on to break down the “anatomy of trust” into its parts, which can be remembered using the acronym B.R.A.V.I.N.G.: Boundaries, Reliability, Accountability, Vault, Integrity, Non-judgment, and Generosity. (I recommend giving the talk a watch now if you want to better understand what each of the elements of trust pertains to. It’s a great talk!)

But the reason I want to share all of this with you is because while Brené's talk is in the context of trusting other people, I was struck by how transferable all her points were to the practice of learning to trust ourselves. 

Just like trust, confidence is built in a series of small moments. 

We have to demonstrate to ourselves that we are deserving of trust, and thus, that our confidence is not misplaced. 

How do we do that? The same way we would show others we’re trustworthy. Through B.R.A.V.I.N.G. 

  • By protecting the boundaries we create for ourselves. (Saying NO when we need to, protecting the time we set aside for ourselves, etc.)
  • By proving to ourselves we’re reliable. (Keeping the promises we make to ourselves, not just once but over and over.)
  • By showing accountability when we’ve come up short. (Acknowledging our short-comings, apologizing and moving on.) 
  • By being a vault for ourselves. (Not disseminating hurtful words and thoughts to others about ourselves, keeping what’s sacred to us sacred.)
  • By showing integrity. (Practicing our values in tough situations rather than just professing them.) 
  • By showing compassion for ourselves and non-judgment in our moments of needing help. (Eliminating negative self-talk when we feel at our weakest.)
  • By assuming the most generous thing about our own intentions and behavior, (Choosing to see the best in ourselves.)

That last one in particular really stuck with me as the crux of this trust/confidence business: generosity. 

Are you generous in your assumptions with yourself?

In other words, do you see the best in yourself? Do you give yourself the benefit of the doubt? If not, I’m betting you find it hard to trust yourself, and if that’s the case, you probably also find it hard to muster confidence at times. 

So often we think of confidence as something that is dependent upon the behavior of other people. That our ability to approach a situation confidently relies on whether or not other people will accept us or reject us. But if we continue to think of it that way, we’re giving up our power to build our confidence and improve it over time. 

Instead, we have to think about confidence as an inside job. We have to think of our actions as marbles in the jar of trust we have with ourselves. If we can build up enough trust to KNOW that the actions or responses of other people won’t prevent us from continuing to go after our dreams, then our inner selves will feel safe enough to create confidently. To share confidently. To speak confidently. 

So, this week, I challenge you to take a hard look at where your confidence is right now.

Do you have trouble trusting yourself? If so, try to pin point why that is using Brené’s BRAVING model above. Is it because you break your promises to yourself? Because you’re afraid you’ll judge yourself if you put yourself out there? Is it because you have trouble living your values in moments that are challenging? 

Whatever it is, I want you to identify it and decide one way you can start building more trust within yourself. Maybe it’s a commitment to talk more kindly to yourself or to make it your mission to follow through on your next promise no matter what. 

Whatever you choose, remember ultimately that confidence has to come from within you.

You have to fill up your own marble jar with enough tiny moments to know that when you encounter a situation that requires you to be confident, that you have your own back. 

Hope that gives you something to chew on this week!

Wishing you a happy holiday filled with food, family and gratitude! 

 
 

My TEDx Talk: Finding The Courage To Live Colorfully

Back in October, I was fortunate enough to be invited to speak at the TEDxBrookings event in Brookings, South Dakota.

As I was preparing for the event, I thought about all the different things I wanted to say. All the important lessons that changed my life that I felt could be "ideas worth spreading."

I thought about doing research and have a carefully crafted story arc and finding some earth-shattering insight that no one had ever thought of before like all my favorite talks I've seen. I wanted to say something worthy enough for a TEDx stage. 

And then, after I had obsessed about it so much that I considered not even showing up at all, I finally said:

Screw it. I'm just going to get up there and tell my story.

So that's what I did. 

See, I haven't always been an artist. And I haven't always been comfortable taking the road less traveled.  

In fact, for most of my childhood and early adulthood, I suppressed my creativity every chance I got so that I could spend my time on the pursuits that I learned were seen as more "successful." Things like getting good grades or starting a prestigious career. It wasn't until one simple question opened me up to the possibility of being a more authentic version of myself that I really started my life as the best and brightest version of my true self.

You can hear more about my story in my talk (click the image below to view), and all the slides were painted/created by me. 

Whatever you are -- artist or not -- I hope my short story here gives you the encouragement you need to live out ALL your various colors in the brightest, most vibrant ways possible.

 
 

Why Ownership Is The Key To The Life You Want

March is coming to an end, and you know what that means - another lettering challenge! 

I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed checking out all the entries from #MeetYourselfMarch. It was just kind of an experiment in a way because I didn’t know how willing everyone would be to share such vulnerable bits about themselves...

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