What To Do When Living Your Values Gets "Inconvenient"

Today I want to tell you a few stories about some very brave soulful creatives whom I admire tremendously.

First up, my tried and true soul sister, Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Big Magic and a little memoir you may have heard of called Eat, Pray, Love.

A few years ago I made a lettering piece from a post Liz wrote on her Facebook page, and it went like this:

"True power comes from standing in your own truth and walking in your own path."

Those words hit me right in the heart and I remember thinking to myself, this is a fellow authenticity-sister in arms. She stands for truth, and I respect that so much.

I've been following Liz's work for years since this post, I've read countless entries on her "public journal" of sorts (her Facebook page) and I've seen her speak at a live event. Each moment I share with her work has me believing more and more that this notion of TRUTH is a powerful one for her.

But, none of those moments has ever proven that to me more than what I read on her Facebook page just last week.

For those of you who don’t follow Liz on social media, last week she revealed some very personal news about big shifts going on in her life.

Her best friend and confidant, a fellow writer named Rayya, had been diagnosed with cancer earlier this spring. This sobering news led to a new level of clarity that made Liz realize that she didn’t just love her friend Rayya, she was in fact IN LOVE with her friend Rayya. (You can read about that touching realization in more accurate words than I can possibly recount in this post on her Facebook page here.)  

Without knowing how much time she and Rayya might have together, she ran full-speed toward her truth, and unfortunately it ended her marriage.

Among SO many other scary things involved in that decision and the news of Rayya's illness, one of them I sure was the decision to reveal to millions of adoring fans that the man she fell in love with at the end of her mega-smash-hit Eat, Pray, Love was no longer who her heart truly longed for.

I’m sure it had to have occurred to her more than a few times that she might be disappointing people. Or, even though it's hard for me to fathom, actually angering people. And maybe it would all be easier if she could just keep it quiet? Keep the truth hidden for all the fallout it might create.

But this woman does not believe in burying the truth.

She is a representative of love and light and authenticity, and so she put her truth font and center (thankfully with a response of mostly overwhelming love and admiration.)

***

Which brings me to my next soulful-hero-writer-heart-beacon-truth-teller (yep, that's the official title that translated to "my people"). She’s the newest addition to my super squad collection of go-to inspirations, and her name is Glennon Doyle Melton. You might recognize her name from her super popular blog, Momastery, or her new best-seller popping up everywhere on Instagram titled Love Warrior.

As soon as I saw folks like Liz Gilbert and Marie Forleo and Brené Brown sharing their ringing endorsements for Glennon's book, I immediately ordered my copy on Amazon.

I’m only just a few chapters in now (mainly because I'm savoring every insightful, heart-busting word) and I have to tell you, this woman’s particular writing style is PURE TRUTH. She says things I’ve literally thought that I never even knew I thought. Ways that I felt as a really sensitive kid (and, let's be honest, a really sensitive adult) that I had yet to fully confront.

The memoir details her own journey rising from the pain of her past through an eating disorder, an abortion, and the shocking news of her husband’s infidelity. Whoa yes, heavy stuff, but the way she takes you on the journey with her, navigating each one of these “rock bottom moments” in her life is truly masterful.

As I always do, I dove head-first into an online media binge of Glennon, just hoping to carve out a few more moments with her wisdom, when I came upon a clip of her segment promoting her book on CBS This Morning. In the interview, Glennon reveals that she’s actually currently in the process of separating from her husband, though in the book she details what it was like to heal from his cheating and to find forgiveness.

Plenty of people, including the hosts of CBS This Morning come right out and say what I'm sure many people are thinking -- Divorcing now is not exactly conducive to marketing a book on love and redemption, is it? No happy ending here?

Even Gayle King asks her point blank: Did you think about waiting?

But, true to her character and her values, Glennon chose truth instead of convenience.

***

Finally, my own tale, though I admit my example carries FAR lower stakes than ending a marriage or potentially jeopardizing a million dollar book contract.

(That's the point though, isn't it. It's not only life's biggest crises and crossroads that challenge our values; it's all of life's tiniest moments too.)

Back in Spring, do you guys remember when I re-launched the Better Branding Course? I was so excited, I worked so hard to build a new website and perfect the content. In fact, I stayed up literally all night the day before launch to tweak and finish the e-guide version of the course so that it would be available on launch day.

So many people had voiced their excitement about the course re-opening, so I couldn't wait for everyone to see the new version. At something like 11am, I FINALLY hit send on the launch email and immediately passed out in my room to get some sleep.

When I woke up, I expected to at least have a few sales coming in, right? Maybe a few emails with questions or words of encouragement. Instead? I sold ONE course. 

On that day I was honestly too exhausted to be disappointed, but over the next few days (as my creative hangover phase set in), the deflating feeling hit me like a ton of bricks. Not only did I feel confused, but I started to panic.

What did I do wrong? Where did I take a wrong turn? Students tell me it's the best branding course they've taken, so why doesn't anyone want it? Should I have followed the “proven formula?” Should I have just done the webinars and the sales funnels and send ALL THE EMAILS?

I had made a promise to myself that I would only promote the course in the ways that felt authentic to me, and I wanted to prove to myself that I didn’t need all of those things to move course sales.

Now there I was, wondering if I had wasted my time and energy. I sat down and scratched out a last minute launch plan to boost sales. It included an impromptu email sequence (that felt super forced), and all kinds of other things that just felt icky to me at the time.

And then, thankfully, I took a breath.

I remembered that the week before launch I had JUST written a newsletter about sticking to your guns and running your business the way you want to run it.

Yet here I was, ready to THROW every value and core belief I had out the window just to make a bit more money (and, honestly, feed my ego.)

I'm so glad I took that breath because I decided NOT to go through with my desperation Plan B launch plan. Instead, I took a look at what I created, I felt proud, and I reminded myself of what I stand for, as a person and as a business. I didn’t want to be a hypocrite, and so I had to make peace with whatever the outcome would be of running my business the way I wanted. (And, as it turns out, it IS possible to sell courses without webinars and incentives, it just happens to take longer than A WEEK for you to see results. )

***

My point in sharing these three stories with you is to highlight the fact that our core values are often easy to talk about, easy to write on a website, easy to profess, but very HARD to put into practice and live out, especially when things get tough.

It’s convenient to value truth and authenticity when you don’t have any hard truths to reveal.

It’s convenient to value encouraging others when your business is doing well and you’re not feeling self-conscious and in a comparison tailspin.

It’s convenient to value slowness and rest when you’re not scrambling to pay off your credit card.

However, when living your values feels INCONVENIENT, those are the moments when you need those values the most. 

“When living your values feels INCONVENIENT, those are the moments when you need them the most.”

Think of your best, brightest self as a journey guide that you carry within you all the time. Your core values are like the infallible compass that your journey guide holds. They are your way back to your best life in the moments that threaten to throw you off your trail.

The truth is, living your most vibrant life is often inconvenient.

It's easier to bury our heads in the sand. It's easier to hide. It's easier to let the tide of our circumstances (and our ego) carry us out to sea. That is UNTIL we finally look around and suddenly we don't recognize where we are anymore.

So, this week, my challenge to you is to write down five of your core values and think of one situation in your past when you chose what was convenient over what you knew was right and true FOR YOU.

My hope is that by spending a moment thinking about this, you can prepare yourself for the future moment when again you’re confronted with that age-old dilemma: to do what is easy or to do what you feel is true.

I’m so grateful that you all continue to read week after week and allow me to share my truth with you. It’s an evolving journey -- as it is with all of us -- but if I know anything for sure it's that these are the conversations that bring richness to our lives.

Have an awesome week!

---

State Of The Union 2016

This week officially marks the 100th weekly newsletter to Self-Made Society!

I honestly can't even believe I've hit send on 100 of those babies, but as I've said many times, starting a weekly newsletter was the best decision I made when I started my business.

It's been such a gift to not only document my personal and professional growth week after week, but it's provided me with a weekly opportunity to interact with all of you -- to hear your stories, your struggles and your triumphs. So a huge thank you to those of you that have been reading for months and months, and a huge welcome to all of you that are new to the club! 

For this week's letter, I actually decided to steal an idea from a friend of mine, Paul Jarvis. Paul also has a weekly newsletter and yesterday (in his 175th newsletter - he's got us beat!), he sent out an email called "State Of The Union, 2016." I thought it was so interesting that I asked him if I could rip off the idea and use it here, to which he kindly obliged. 

The idea is simply to take stock of how things went in 2015 and to give you all an idea of where things might be going in 2016. I hope the recap is valuable in illustrating some big lessons I've learned, and I hope it gets you excited for what's in store in the coming months! Let's get to it...
 

***

What went well 

1. Self-Made Society newsletter. 

As I mentioned above, I wrote a Monday letter to you guys every single week of 2015. I didn’t even take a break in December when I was on hiatus (like I had originally planned) because it truly continues to be the highlight of my week.

I still maintain that the two most crucial elements in growing a sustainable, profitable solo business are consistency and authenticity. (You can read more about my feelings on this in a post I wrote for Elle & Company’s blog, The Collaborative.)

The Self-Made Society newsletter is the fundamental way I consistently share my authentic self with you guys, and it has paid off by continuing to grow this community of passionate, positive soulful creatives. My core list grew from 1,400 subscribers to 3,400 last year, and I’m really looking forward to continuing that same trend in 2016.

2. Hiring Laura!

By far the most game-changing decision I made in 2015 was hiring my assistant, Laura. I fought the idea of bringing on help for a long time, mostly because I had no idea how to grow a team and that fear of the unknown held me back. But I finally hit a point back in the fall where all the little things on my to-do lists really started to add up and the notion of trying to keep everything organized was overwhelming. I could feel my anxiety coming into the foreground (something I desperately wanted to avoid), and that's when I realized that even though I didn’t know “how” to hire someone, there was nothing that said I had to do it anyone else’s way but my own.

I found some amazing applicants through the blog, but ultimately Laura felt like the best fit and we’ve been jamming together ever since! Not only has it been immensely helpful to have her get processes in place and organize the various projects Made Vibrant has going on, but the best unforeseen benefit has been having a fellow soulful creative in my corner supporting me and cheering me on with each step in the evolution of Made Vibrant. She reminds me of the WHY behind the brand on a regular basis and that has been the greatest gift.
 

3. Hand-lettering challenges.   

Back in February of last year, the hand-lettering course was selling pretty well and was bringing in a steady monthly income, but I kept thinking there was untapped potential there. I was getting emails from students saying the course had reignited their creative fire again, and I wanted more people to experience that benefit.

Meanwhile I was starting to see some real traction with my semi-regular lettering posts on Instagram, which is when it hit me to start a monthly lettering challenge to encourage people to join the course. In the months following the challenge debut, monthly course sales more than doubled, making it one of the most directly impactful marketing moves I've ever made. 

To date, there have been over 18,000 posts with the #BetterLetteringCourse tag. Even cooler than that, though, is the interesting intersection between lettering and self-reflection that has emerged. The daily prompts we share each month now act as a kind of daily journal prompt, and reading the captions and stories from students as they post is so incredibly rewarding for me. Instagram has turned out to be such a rich and thriving place for this community, which was another big learning that came out of 2015. 
 

4. Transitioning to products (and doing it my way.)  

This is what made the biggest change in my daily life and the business model last year. Late in 2014 I made the tough decision to stop taking on branding clients and to move exclusively to a products-based business. As much as I loved (and still love) freelance design, I had to admit to myself that not only was managing client expectations hard for a highly sensitive and dangerously over-achieving person like myself, but the economics of running a service business (trading time for money) just wasn’t that desirable.

I finished up my final design project in the spring of 2015, and this year I launched two new e-courses, with the most successful by far being the Better Branding Course, which took my business revenue total to over six figures -- 3xing the revenue of my first year in business as a freelance designer (2014). 

Now, I’m not telling you guys that to toot my own horn or to brag about how much money is in the bank (most of it went to paying down debt and buying out the lease on our car!), but I’m sharing it with you as an illustration that it’s possible to build a highly profitable business without e-courses that cost $999 and weekly sales webinars and crazy complicated email funnels and free opt-ins on every blog post.

All those things can be effective tools at the appropriate times, but more often than not they can leaving you feeling overwhelmed and icky and chained to your laptop managing it all. Instead of going that route, I simply created affordable, valuable courses that I was proud of, products that I genuinely knew would help people, and then I promoted them when and how I wanted to in a way that felt natural. Could I have probably made more money? Maybe. But I was still able to triple my previous year’s revenue with a list well under 5,000 subscribers and while actually working less hours, traveling more and staying healthier. That is a win in my book. (If you have any specific questions about how I made that happen, feel free to reply back and let me know. I’m happy to share what I’ve learned!)
 

***

What didn't go so well

1. The MV Slack community.  

This was a sort of experiment I started on a whim after I saw such fantastic engagement from the Better Branding Course Slack group. However, what I learned from the experiment was that without a regular content schedule or reason for people to show up and chat about a certain topic, there's no real reason for anyone to pop in. 

To give the Slack community idea the chance it deserved, I should have asked you guys how that group could be most valuable and planned more consistent content based on that. Moving forward my goal is to either come up with a structure and plan for it (like weekly Slack chats around a specific topic for example) OR to potentially close the community so it’s not hanging over my head and taking up mental space.

Again, Slack works phenomenally for a specific topic or community interest, but as a general group without structure, the activity there becomes sparse. (If you want the Slack group to stick around and have ideas for what would make it valuable, please reply back with feedback! I’d love to hear it!)
 

2. Resource Shop. 

In August I decided I really wanted a more formal, easy to navigate place for all my e-guides, worksheets and e-courses on the website. I envisioned it as a helpful place for soulful creatives to go and find resources to push their businesses or lives further. What I found out instead was that most people don’t buy resources directly from that page — they buy them from the various content marketing posts or from this email newsletter.

Since most of the non-course resources don’t have a specific traffic source driving to them, the sales were pretty low compared to my other revenue sources. Just to give you an idea, the non-course products in the shop (guides, e-books, and worksheets) accounted for less than 1% of my total revenue in 2015 (only about $800 total.) I didn’t realize this until I did my end of year financials, but it was definitely an eye-opener to see that as a business opportunity, I’d probably be better off creating free resources and using those to add new soulful creatives to this community. You’ll likely see a shift in that direction this year, as well as more courses since that seems to be the preferred way that people like to consume their helpful content! 
 

3. Completion.

When it comes down to it, this is what I feel like I struggled with the most in 2015. While it feels like I planted A LOT of seeds, I wasn’t able to properly harvest the fruits of all that planting because I had trouble seeing things through to completion. For example, I’d create something like the Better Branding Course, but then when it came to that last 10% of coming up with a well-thought out promotion plan, I’d just move on to the next shiny object project.

The result at the end of the year was this overwhelming feeling like I had a lot of projects out in the ether, but none of them fully baked to completion. My goal in 2016 is to instead curate my list of projects, really commit to one thing at a time, and make sure that I fully see each project to completion. I still have plenty of ideas for what I want to accomplish this year, but in order to do each of them well, I need to let my brain narrow in on one at a time and push myself to fully realize the potential of each idea by completing its intended vision. 
 

***

What's ahead for 2016

Now that brings us to this year! What do I have in store for you guys and where do I see the future of Made Vibrant headed?
 

1. Throttling up the intersection between creativity and personal growth.

I started Made Vibrant with the intention of exploring the interesting intersection between life, creativity and business. While the focus skewed a bit more toward business last year (with resources like the Better Branding Course and Your First E-Course), my deep love affair with acrylic art that started back in August feels like it’s leading me to swing more toward the creative side this year. 

I get such immense joy out of commenting on the beautiful relationship between creating things and getting to know yourself deeper — as evidenced by the Better Lettering challenges — but I want to explore that even more this year. The most magical revelations have come to me as I engage in my various creative pursuits, and I want to continue to find ways to share those insights in a way that encourages people to shed their expectations of what art is and simply make what their heart is leading them to make. 

I’d love to make more creative e-courses (similar to the lettering course), and I have at least two solid concepts I’ll start working on soon. I still intend on “reporting back” on the business side of things, as it’s still my personal mission to help as many creatives as possible make a living with their art, but I want creativity to be at the forefront again. My 2016 daily project, Abstract Affirmations, plus the addition of a print shop coming soon will be the first manifestation of that. Color Your Soul, my vision for a digital mindfulness subscription, is also still on the docket, and I can’t wait to see how my art finds its way into that endeavor. 

Given the major uptick in products-based businesses and business resource blogs out there, I also feel that doubling down on the creativity aspect of what I do is my way of tapping deeper into what makes Made Vibrant unique and carving out an authentic niche for my skill set and offerings.
 

2. Staying connected with you guys! 

Other than that, I want to continue to grow the business in a slow and steady way so that I still have the bandwidth to answer your emails and connect with you on social media. I’m not always able to get to everyone’s comments or emails, though I promise I try, but I want to continue to make that a priority since I wouldn’t be able to make a living without this amazing group of people. And I’ll keep sending out these weekly letters if you guys promise to keep reading them! :)

---

So that’s the plan, guys! I just want to keep moving forward, learning everything I can, and reporting back to you all in a way that you hopefully find uplifting and inspiring.

As I’ve said since the beginning, Made Vibrant is simply my personal exploration to discover my best and brightest self, and I’m just grateful that I get to share that process with people that are as generous, caring, creative and insightful as you guys. 

If I could issue you just one challenge this week it’s this: create your own State Of The Union.

It could be for your business or your life, but write down what worked last year, what didn’t, and where you want things to go in 2016. The very exercise of writing this down will help you bring forth intentions that you might not have recognized before. 

Again, thanks for sticking with me on this crazy ride. Talking to you is the best part of my week. 

---

Create Your Own Mindset Revolution

Did everyone survive the holidays in one piece?

I hope so. Jason, Plaxico and I had an amazing time with family and friends and I’m so glad our road trip to Florida meant we could spend quality time with the people we care about.

On the other hand, though, I will say I’m with Emily McDowell on this one, I’m a little relieved to get back into the swing of non-holiday life. 

Next on the agenda, Jason and I are packing up once again and heading to a modern cabin in northern Georgia to ring in the New Year with some much needed relaxation. It’s becoming our tradition of ours to do some type of travel the first week of the year in an effort to decompress from the holidays and start the new year off feeling refreshed. 

Predictably, since it is the final newsletter of 2015, I want to offer up my two cents about how to get your mind right before 2016 shows up.

It’s possible that many of you are making resolutions as you read this right now. Promises to yourself to read more, exercise more, love more; drink less, worry less, buy less. 

And while I believe those intentions are (theoretically) a fantastic way to bring some ownership into your life, this year I’m feeling a bit like we need something... more. 

Yes, resolutions can be helpful. Tiny commitments to yourself to get in shape or stay in touch with friends or keep things organized are all good and well. But do you know why the majority of people fall off the wagon? Because they don’t take the time to confront the mindsets that cause them to drop the ball on those things in the first place. 

If you don’t take time to understand why you’re lacking in those areas to begin with, then resolutions are just like temporary band-aids. (And, as the great poet Taylor Swift has taught us, band-aids don’t fix bullet holes.)

Instead, I say we need revolutions, not resolutions.

Yep, we need to start a revolution in our own minds. And listen, I know, “revolution” sounds kind of extreme. But I use that word purposefully because it sounds abrupt and important and downright rebellious. That’s the kind of change that’s necessary to stick to something you’ve never stuck to in the past. 

Think about it, a revolution marks the being of a new era, a different story, a divergence from what came before. If you’re in the boat of people that are looking for that, this could be your ticket. 

No longer do I make resolutions, but instead, I look at the year ahead and ask myselfwhat MAJOR (revolutionary) mindset shift could make the biggest impact for me. 

In other words, I answer this two-part question: 

1. What do I want the MOST for my life right now? 
2. What story that I’m telling myself is holding me back from that?

Because if you find a way to flip just one destructive or fear-based script, all those tiny resolutions will pale in comparison to the revolution you can create for your own life over the course of a year. 

Now, it might help to give you an example: 

At the end of 2013, I found myself completely exhausted with one year of entrepreneurship under my belt. I felt like I was working all the time. I was constantly worried about what other people in my field were doing. And it was creating a major imbalance in the way I lived my life. (No exercise, my mind racing before bed, major anxiety.)

As 2014 approached, instead of resolving to “make more time for relaxation” or “work less on the weekends” etc, I knew there was an underlying mindset that had to be dealt with. 

Using that trusty two-part question above, I realized that what I wanted MOST was a blend of life and business that allowed me to actually enjoy the perks of running my own business (as opposed to being enslaved by the never-ending list of to-dos.) I wanted a day-to-day that made time for art and hikes and mid-day movies and reading and fun as much as it made time for to-dos and answering emails. 

Ultimately what I realized was holding me back from that was this story I kept telling myself that if I didn’t take advantage of every opportunity, the business would suffer and ultimately fail. 

But, I had to ask myself, was that really true? If I stopped working 10-hour days would things fall apart? And did I really need to be a "six-figure business" like some of the other entrepreneurs I'd seen or could I be content making enough money to support my lifestyle and live as my happiest self? Suddenly I started investigating this story and realized that I had the power to take back control of how I run my business. It takes will power and practice, but I no longer worry if I pass up an opportunity or if I leave revenue on the table or if someone else has their business on hyper drive.

Throughout the entire year, when I found myself wanting to take a break or step away from my laptop but my inner guilt/anxiety was rearing its ugly head, I simply repeated to myself: “When you’re happy and refreshed, the business thrives.” Andthat’s the true story. 

I can honestly say that was a completely revolutionary concept for me and it led to the happiest and most balanced year of my life. (The irony also being that because I was my happiest, most balanced self, I had more ideas and focus this year than I could have imagined, leading to six-figure business revenue anyway. 😱That proves to me that I was right about the business thriving when I'm a balanced version of myself.)

So, now let me ask you, instead of setting resolutions for the new year, is there one major mindset shift that could change the game for you? 

Try answering the two questions above and see what comes up. 

In order to make lasting improvements on our daily lives, we have to continue to understand ourselves better and the things we tell ourselves. I hope this week’s letter helps you do just that in preparation for the new year!

Happy Monday, friends! 

Did everyone survive the holidays in one piece? I hope so. Jason, Plaxico and I had an amazing time with family and friends and I’m so glad our road trip to Florida meant we could spend quality time with the people we care about.

On the other hand, though, I will say I’m with Emily McDowell on this one, I’m a little relieved to get back into the swing of non-holiday life. 

Next on the agenda, Jason and I are packing up once again and heading to a modern cabin in northern Georgia to ring in the New Year with some much needed relaxation. It’s becoming our tradition of ours to do some type of travel the first week of the year in an effort to decompress from the holidays and start the new year off feeling refreshed. 

Predictably, since it is the final newsletter of 2015, I want to offer up my two cents about how to get your mind right before 2016 shows up.

It’s possible that many of you are making resolutions as you read this right now. Promises to yourself to read more, exercise more, love more; drink less, worry less, buy less. 

And while I believe those intentions are (theoretically) a fantastic way to bring some ownership into your life, this year I’m feeling a bit like we need something... more. 

Yes, resolutions can be helpful. Tiny commitments to yourself to get in shape or stay in touch with friends or keep things organized are all good and well. But do you know why the majority of people fall off the wagon? Because they don’t take the time to confront the mindsets that cause them to drop the ball on those things in the first place. 

If you don’t take time to understand why you’re lacking in those areas to begin with, then resolutions are just like temporary band-aids. (And, as the great poet Taylor Swift has taught us, band-aids don’t fix bullet holes.)

Instead, I say we need revolutions, not resolutions.

Yep, we need to start a revolution in our own minds. And listen, I know, “revolution” sounds kind of extreme. But I use that word purposefully because it sounds abrupt and important and downright rebellious. That’s the kind of change that’s necessary to stick to something you’ve never stuck to in the past. 

Think about it, a revolution marks the being of a new era, a different story, a divergence from what came before. If you’re in the boat of people that are looking for that, this could be your ticket. 

No longer do I make resolutions, but instead, I look at the year ahead and ask myselfwhat MAJOR (revolutionary) mindset shift could make the biggest impact for me. 

In other words, I answer this two-part question: 

1. What do I want the MOST for my life right now? 
2. What story that I’m telling myself is holding me back from that?

Because if you find a way to flip just one destructive or fear-based script, all those tiny resolutions will pale in comparison to the revolution you can create for your own life over the course of a year. 

Now, it might help to give you an example: 

At the end of 2013, I found myself completely exhausted with one year of entrepreneurship under my belt. I felt like I was working all the time. I was constantly worried about what other people in my field were doing. And it was creating a major imbalance in the way I lived my life. (No exercise, my mind racing before bed, major anxiety.)

As 2014 approached, instead of resolving to “make more time for relaxation” or “work less on the weekends” etc, I knew there was an underlying mindset that had to be dealt with. 

Using that trusty two-part question above, I realized that what I wanted MOST was a blend of life and business that allowed me to actually enjoy the perks of running my own business (as opposed to being enslaved by the never-ending list of to-dos.) I wanted a day-to-day that made time for art and hikes and mid-day movies and reading and fun as much as it made time for to-dos and answering emails. 

Ultimately what I realized was holding me back from that was this story I kept telling myself that if I didn’t take advantage of every opportunity, the business would suffer and ultimately fail. 

But, I had to ask myself, was that really true? If I stopped working 10-hour days would things fall apart? And did I really need to be a "six-figure business" like some of the other entrepreneurs I'd seen or could I be content making enough money to support my lifestyle and live as my happiest self? Suddenly I started investigating this story and realized that I had the power to take back control of how I run my business. It takes will power and practice, but I no longer worry if I pass up an opportunity or if I leave revenue on the table or if someone else has their business on hyper drive.

Throughout the entire year, when I found myself wanting to take a break or step away from my laptop but my inner guilt/anxiety was rearing its ugly head, I simply repeated to myself: “When you’re happy and refreshed, the business thrives.” Andthat’s the true story. 

I can honestly say that was a completely revolutionary concept for me and it led to the happiest and most balanced year of my life. (The irony also being that because I was my happiest, most balanced self, I had more ideas and focus this year than I could have imagined, leading to six-figure business revenue anyway. 😱That proves to me that I was right about the business thriving when I'm a balanced version of myself.)

So, now let me ask you, instead of setting resolutions for the new year, is there one major mindset shift that could change the game for you? 

Try answering the two questions above and see what comes up. 

In order to make lasting improvements on our daily lives, we have to continue to understand ourselves better and the things we tell ourselves. I hope this week’s letter helps you do just that in preparation for the new year!

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Actionizing Your Aspirations

I hope that you were all still able to find moments of rest and joy this weekend, despite the shocking and deeply troubling news pouring in from around the world.

I, myself, was a bit frozen from it all. 

In times where the suffering of others comes racing to the front lines of my head and my heart, continuing to create or share or do what I love sometimes feels so… cold. Insensitive. Trivializing. 

So I spent the weekend checking off things from my to-do list, getting ready for our cross-country trek back East for the holidays (we leave tomorrow) and I made myself busy to avoid both the sadness and the guilt of being anything other than sad. 

Then I came across this beautiful post by a favorite artist of mine, Emily McDowell: 

All day I've struggled with what to say about Paris and Beirut and all of it. Even though it's kind of my job to say things, everything felt meaningless. And then I read this, by @jenpastiloff, who founded @girlpoweryouareenough:

"I don't know what a prayer is but I know how to love. The only thing I can think of right now, with the sun on my back, as I sit on my couch reading articles about Paris and Beirut and Turkey, is "I love you." So I decided that today is the day I'm dedicating to making other people feel better. Now, I know I'm not a magician (just a little bit of a witch) & I know I'm not God. But we ALL have the power to make someone feel good. Pick up the phone. Go hug someone. Write a letter. Smile at a stranger. Donate blood. Offer to help. Ask, "how may I serve?" Tell someone you love them. There are so many ways, and every one of us has the power to radically alter the day and life of another human. Go do that."

// We all know how to love. To paraphrase Dr. King, only love can drive out hate. // My painting style here is heavily influenced by@pamgarrison, who's amazing.#girlpoweryouareenough #jenpastiloff

All day I've struggled with what to say about Paris and Beirut and all of it. Even though it's kind of my job to say things, everything felt meaningless. And then I read this, by @jenpastiloff, who founded @girlpoweryouareenough:

"I don't know what a prayer is but I know how to love. The only thing I can think of right now, with the sun on my back, as I sit on my couch reading articles about Paris and Beirut and Turkey, is "I love you." So I decided that today is the day I'm dedicating to making other people feel better. Now, I know I'm not a magician (just a little bit of a witch) & I know I'm not God. But we ALL have the power to make someone feel good. Pick up the phone. Go hug someone. Write a letter. Smile at a stranger. Donate blood. Offer to help. Ask, "how may I serve?" Tell someone you love them. There are so many ways, and every one of us has the power to radically alter the day and life of another human. Go do that."

// We all know how to love. To paraphrase Dr. King, only love can drive out hate. // My painting style here is heavily influenced by@pamgarrison, who's amazing.#girlpoweryouareenough #jenpastiloff

As I read it, I thought to myself, “YES, I want to do that too. I want to DO SOMETHING that will pour love back out into the world in a time like this.” 

But, moments later I was scrolling through my feed, on to another post, and then hours later I realized I hadn’t done anything at all. 

That seed of a thought never turned into anything at all because I didn’t give it the action it needed to grow. 

So, that’s what I want to talk to you about this week. Not in the context of the tragedies abroad, but just about why so many of us often have these wishes and desires to improve our lives, yet fall just short of taking action (myself very much included.) 

Do you have this issue? Am I alone here? 

How many times have you thought to yourself:

I want to be a better friend. 

I want to make more time for my art. 

I want to read more books.

I want to brush up on my Italian. 

I want to travel the world. 

I want to do something today to make someone else feel better.  

How many times have you had that thought in your car at a stoplight, in bed before you fall asleep, after watching a touching video online, after having a conversation with a friend, after hearing someone inspiring speak?

And how many times has that thought then vanished into the ether without some sort of action to tether it to reality? 

If we’re talking about me… it’s hundreds if not thousands of times. 

There are so many things in my life that I WANT. Even things I know I need, things that I know will bring immense value to me, but inevitably I fall just short of putting those things into practice. Because it’s hard to change our everyday behavior without making at least one significant intentional action.

If you want to read more books, maybe that’s picking out one book a month and blocking out 30 minutes on your Google Cal with an alarm to your phone. 

If you want to be a better friend, maybe that’s writing down the five friends that you want to have for life and sending one of them a letter each week for the next five weeks. 

Whatever that aspiration is, if you want it to be real, you have to ACTIONIZE it. (Yep, I just made up a word. Actionize. But honestly, I’m surprised it doesn’t exist yet because I think we all need a LOT more actionizing in our lives.) 

“Intentional actions form the only bridge to lead our aspirations out of our heads and into reality.”

It may seem overly simple, but I believe THIS is the thing so many of us struggle with. We have dreams and ideas and goals and desires, but dreaming is so much easier than acting, isn’t it? 

And yet I believe that if we can adjust our internal settings so that we’re just a little bit more biased to action, we can make some amazing things happen in our lives. 

Yesterday morning I was in bed reading Essentialism, and the book was talking about giving yourself time and space to think. It suggested using an Out Of Office reply to curb your email monster, and I thought, Man, I should really put an auto-responder up for the month of December while I’m on creative hiatus. Just something to give myself the space to not feel beholden to my inbox when I’m supposed to be creating freely.

In the past, I would’ve had this thought and may or may not have acted on it later. But with this perspective fresh in my head, I dropped the book right then and there, opened my laptop and drafted the auto-response. I took one significant, intentional action to bring that desire to fruition. (And can I just say, it felt amazing! It was so satisfying to grab a potentially fleeting thought and take action on it.) 

So.. here’s the how-to. Are you ready? 

When you find yourself starting a statement with “I really wish….” or “I want to…” or “My life could use a lot more…” make sure that your next question is this: 

What's ONE SMALL ACTION I can take in the next five minutes to bring this further into reality?

AKA How do I … actionize this aspiration? 

Commit to asking yourself this question for the next week and see how satisfying it feels to act on all those tiny desires that pop into your head. 

As for me? I still very much want to do something that will pour love out into the world in a time like this.

My one small action is this: I want you to email me with one thing you feel you're in need of right now, one thing I could help you with: Is it a vote of confidence? Some advice? A note of gratitude? A simple “I see you?”

Whatever it is that you need, you let me know and I’d love to spend the next few days replying and sending love to each one of you that needs it. It’s a simple act that may not stop wars or halt terrorism or end injustice, but it will mean that there’s a little more love in the world because of me and I hope that in return you all will think about spreading a little more love out there too. 

To all my friends around the world and nearby, wishing you love, peace and safety ALWAYS.

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Freebie Friday: Creative Progress Maps

Will power can be a tough thing to muster sometimes.

Coming from someone who issues herself daily and monthly challenges all the dang time, even I admit that it never truly gets easier to follow through on intentions I set for myself. Almost every day I wage that internal battle with myself - am I going to remain accountable to the things I set out to do?

Am I going to do my daily lettering piece today? Am I going to write that blog post? Am I going to get myself to the fitness studio?

And sometimes I fail. Sometimes my progress stalls and I find myself starting all over again on one of my self-imposed "challenges." But, no matter how many times I fail, I still continue to work towards my goals because I have a desire to get better and work toward the brightest version of myself.

If you’re like me and you’re constantly trying to challenge yourself, but you too struggle with ways to help you follow through or stay accountable, today’s post is for you!

A few weeks ago I stumbled across a link to this article on Quartz.com. The title was,“Coloring in this picture helped me erase $26,000 in debt”. Um… talk about a link you want to click, right? Who doesn’t want to wipe out debt by coloring!

The writer, Amy, went on to explain that she wanted a way to keep herself accountable to paying off her mountain of debt. Remembering back to when she was young and her mom, a sales associate, would work toward her company’s annual sales incentive trips by coloring in a simple drawing issued by the company, she decided to give the idea a try by coloring in a canvas of swirls (each one representing $100 paid toward her credit card debt.)

As I read this, the whole idea really resonated with me. I’ve always been drawn to documenting my progress in a visual way, whether it was placing heart stickers on my calendar for every day I went to the gym (true story) or checking off boxes for every day I stuck to my health plan.

This article made me realize though that progress trackers can be a heck of a lot more fun than simply some boxes to draw exes through! I mean… that swirl drawing is pretty sweet, right?

So I decided to make one of my own.

At the end of last month, I was ready to start fully committing to my fitness and I wanted to do something drastic. I challenged myself to attend 20 Dailey Method (barre workout) classes in 30 days. I’ve accomplished this once before and when I did two years ago, I saw major, noticeable changes in my body. It’s no easy task, though, and so I knew I needed some sort of visual way to keep myself accountable. Taking Amy’s lead, I drew this funky geometric/neon thing (the Dailey Method colors are bright yellow, green and orange!)

Every day I go to class, I get to color in a triangle. Every day I rest, I fill in with stripes. That way, at a glance I can see how much I’ve accomplished and how far I have yet to go.

Surprisingly, it’s working! I’m on pace to hit my goal.

Seeing the success of my own progress map, I started wanting to make progress maps for every commitment in my life.

This month I’m also trying to post on the blog five days a week, so I created a nice little map for that too. I get to fill in the letters as I complete my post each day. (This is Friday’s post which is why it’s not colored in yet!!)

So far, the whole idea of creating a fun and visual way to stay accountable to myself is working well! I love that each of these “maps” is taped up by my desk in a place where I see it every day. Plus, it feels surprisingly good when I get to take them down and color in my little piece of the puzzle each day.

Like I mentioned before, accountability is a hard thing.

Turning intentions into habits takes effort and will power, and if some silly drawing can make it even 1% easier to choose to stay committed each day, I think that’s worth it!

If you think creative progress maps could help you tackle your own goals, I’ve created three funky and free printable progress maps for you below, all with 31 places for you to color in. That's one whole months of accountability for you (and you can always add to it with your own creativity if you need more "days." 

Get these three downloads by clicking the button below and entering your email address. You'll be signed up for Self-Made Society and I'll send you weekly inspiration and motivation for living your brightest life. 

I also recommend checking out Amy’s website, Map Your Progress, where you can purchase all kinds of her cool swirl progress maps.

So, what do you think about the idea of creative progress maps? Do you think having a tangible progress tracker helps you stay accountable? Let me know in the comments!

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